The Manuscript.

His life,turned into a banal mission,
With ensuing bouts of depression,
Exasperated by many,but one reason,
Though he hates it here,its his refuge,his prison,
To lost friends,he looks changed,
But its him,just some how rearranged!

More than ever,his eyes now bating,
Behind the curtains,he’s truly hurting,
He has run out of tears,
Inundated by his fears,
So he lives to the full everyday,
Afraid that his tomorrow may be taken away.

Nightmares might after all be true,
A fact that makes him blue,
There’s an IV inside his vein,
Numb,after being accustomed to the pain.

Mum smiles,though close to tears,
Reaching for her ears,
Urges her to keep smiling,
Asserting to hold on,to keep trying,
Pray,don’t Cry!

Her pray is different;unlike some sound like brittle leaves;Brittle;Wishes:Please,
Some boast,swinging on golden pail,
among the lightest,scentless fruit,
Most never rise above a tree.Demands
woven whatnot,green the
grief,white denial,
Snag in,why not,lavender,nests
As she hopes against hope,against crows,
That light would return.

Quickly writes
A note,slips it in her pocket-Reads,
“mum I see the tears I’m causing you,
And I can see your hands are shaking,
I can feel your purpose breaking,
And I’m sorry that you’re losing faith,
But I hope that one day you understand
That just like you had said to me before.
Our good lord has a plan”

SAY NO TO VIOLENCE CAMPAIGN

sitting in the dark,
making friends with shadows that lurk,
these walls have better eyes than ears,
they see my fears,
smiling though in tears,
think outside the box!
they lied it just a hoax,
tell em what they want to hear,marvel at the mayhem,

all based on the plain hokum: if you cant convince em,confuse em!
i say this in bold,
this war is real,not cloned,
i am neither bitter nor cynical,wish there was less immaturity in political thinking.

we've been hit,our ship is sinking,
the Captain,the key protagonist,
has disappeared like thin mist,
who will lead the revolution,
not in the streets but in Wanjiku's mind!
our political necessities have turned out to be our political mistakes,
the camera is rolling,this is the last take,

sentimental correctness doesn't change us,it shuts us up!
the war has begun
i don't think power has to grow out of the barrel of a gun,
can i count on you?
to be true?
SAY NO TO VIOLENCE!!!

break up.

I lie in bed awake at night
Replay what we used to be
I can't believe it's over now
And you have moved on without me
Another girl has taken my place
I hope she treats you well
I'd give anything to have you back
Just thinking of you makes my heart swell
I stare at you, my feelings so strong
I love everything you do
So how can you like someone else
When I'm in love with you?

Source: Missing You, Break Up Poems and Stories http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/teen_love/poetry.asp?poem=25818#ixzz1NBfvNBUi
Family Friend Poems

CRAZY KENYAN HABITS!

Yes, there are a lot of strange mannerisms that only happen in Eastern Africa. Ugandans and Tanzanians have theirs too. E.g. We will ‘chambua’ that one ‘anaa’ day’ (Why do people say that? What the fuck is anaa day? ‘’Anaa day we just boe-ka-ing’…eehhhhh we were ‘wha rever-ing? What the fuck is ’whar ever ing?…
I know one of my worst peculiar habits is I don’t read signs…especially lifts, which brings us nicely to point number one lifts:
1. Kenyans and Lifts??? The damn thing always has an arrow well lit showing down or up…then some idiot asks ‘ Inaenda juu ama chini? WTF? Hapana! Pia inaenda sideways?? And those idiots in lifts who talk loudly on the phone to impress unsuspecting chicks… “Haaro, Haaro? Ndirakuigwa mani. Siku skiiiii! Ogea na guvu. Ahhhh!? Ok ok ok ah! Very good! Yes yes yes transfer the 6 mirrion, horaight horaight, very good, niguo yes to my account. Yes very good! Niguo!
2. Kenyans and phones in mathrees? Why do Kenyans love to talk loudly on their phones in mats?? And they’re randomly silly conversations too.’’ Hallo? Ati nini? Heeeee! Ambia hako kaumbwa nitaaa katwanga! ‘’
3. Kenyan TV news is the most annoying thing! (Besides the cheap suits, nasty weaves and fake twengs.) Why do the newscasters always say crap like ‘Abdi Osman? Thank you for that report? Why are they thanking him? It’s his ’ job!! It’s like thanking a condii after taking your fare. What’s even more annoying is that common rubbish of two complete blondes discussing the newsclip that just ended in overtones. One idiot goes
Michael Njenga: ’.Amazing! *Shaking his head* ‘but I guess the government has to step in eh?
The other idiot goes
Belinda Obura: That’s right!’ what a story eh!!!!! You are so right Michael.
Micheal Njenga: Okay now? More to come after the break?
Belinda Obura: So as we go into the break?
Micheal Njenga: Yes Belinda????
Belinda Obura: We ask the question….is it right for the government to step in?
WTF? Is going on???? Meanwhile, I’m about to scream! I’m like ‘Stupid idiots! Shut the fuck up and read the damn autocue!’ That’s all you know how to do in life anyway. You’re too daft to do anything else or you would be already successfully doing that something else!’ grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
4. Kenyans and Shados?…In the club, inside cafes, in offices? And if you have cool shados, your buddy asks ‘Ebu wacha ni zi checki? They try them on? They ask ‘Uli buy wapi? WTF? Why is it your business? Uhuru Highway Optics???
5. Kenyans and toothpicks (or tu-broken matchsticks) after lunch? You have eaten fruit-salad hapo city market, then you walk back all the way till Nation centre na tooth pick beating storos.WTF?! Any meal is for toothpicks
6. Some Kenyan men tend to have weak moves of ‘hollaing at babes? You’re a hot mama in a club in Westlands, with your girlfriends minding your own biz, some random dude tries to ‘hit on you, you brush him off, he sneers he clicks. Nkt! and goes ‘Your loss!! ??????Dudes WTF is this nonsense of ‘Your loss????
7. Also why do Kenyan babes take shit and disrespect from dudes? Especially the ones they actually know from before e.g. go to college with or jobo with. .A dude calls a babe randomly and asks..weee wee? Who kamatas you nowadays? She asks why? (Very perturbed)…I want to kamata you!…WTF!?
8. Gully creepers! Is a name for ‘Babes who wear six inch heels, and can barely walk in them, they walk funny…so they look like they’re doing the gully creeper dance! (Wewe usicheke!..that goes for a lot of young Nairobi women)..Honey? High heels are not for walking in randomly all the damn time! Especially on those paved or non paved barabaras or whilst ‘javing. And yes even if you have a moti, you can’t drive in that shit. You’re just messing your mgongos! WTF.
9. Kenyan weddings??? There’s ZERO innovation and committee minutes can be photocopied and used by other peeps. I wonder why people have to meet for 6 months ati to ‘pangaa’! We know Kayamba will always sing, you will omba a merc or a Range nowadays (WTF), you will go to photo session either at Village market, river café or rock city or safari park, you will serve pilau ‘njeri, the mama from the bride’s side won’t shut up (During her speech) Uyu Ri, ni muthaka na ni witu!!! You will sing some corrupted traditional shit.‘Werukamu ni wa kinya kwa nyina wa waitherero…siti downeeee!…’ weru kamu????? That nonsense of the bridal party coming into the reception very late dancing in a line is so obvious and lame…hanini! hanini !hanini coka thutha hanini…! (Jango weddings…Opekele women are a must! Luhya weddings one must mwana mberi ( first born) even if the guy or babe is the 7th born in a family of 9!WTF!.. and then there’s that camera dude on a pick up???WTF
10. Kenyan bad fashion trends! Those women’s suits from Turkey…WTF…kwanza they were the ones in different shades of brown and then now we have the pseudo shiny ones…(btw they’re flammable) They can totally catch fire along with your weave! You can easily be a marehemu!…If you’re a smoker and toss a cigarette butt carelessly, you can light a babe on fire! Or on a hot day with a magnifying glass at a good angle ‘utamchoma bwana???’.
11. Mitush!..Even moneyed chicks still want to incessantly indulge in mitush..Toi market ?? Ni kama Deacons ya Kibera? And they supplement their wardrobes with Jamia mall exhibition suits made of polypropylene. Kwanza newscasters/reporters of NTV and KTN have serious credo there at Jamia Mall (Cynthia Nyamai’s 53k salo ‘ishas’ at such like tu-boutiques….with her mushaino suits?)
Then these babes with size 58 hips and skinny jeans? You do look like a barrel balancing on matchsticks. And there’s there new trend of long sun dresses with flowers! Kwani they’re bought in kilos in Gikosh! Ama zinapewa kama bonga points and then those stupid shiny bubble dresses/skirts commonly seen in westlands every other night and gladiators shoes/sandals? For men, baggy suits? (Ramah Nyang uko wapi) It’s like you’re carrying stones in the damn pockets…. What the fuuuuuuuuck!
12. Lakini we Kenyans like asking stupid rhetorical questions; e.g You ask mathree conductors, ‘ iko kiti????!…’the guy retorts ‘Weeeeee umetoka mungetho gani?. Hujui siku hizi matatu zote zime jengwa na kiti!(sic).. Or you another smart ass answer like ‘Hakuna kiti, lakini iko stool na unaweza shuka nayo‘
Or what about people peeping out of buses at accident scenes, then some idiot asks ‘haiya ni accident? Hee imegongwa eh? …Hapana ni picnic???Duh!
13. Some Kenyan hot hot hot mamas really love feeding lunch in the shadiest of places…( e.g Kwam Kisii! On Dennis Prit opp St George’s primary where all of Citizen/Royal Media crew feed, if you want to grind royal media to a halt??..There you have it..( only SK and his Wife will survive!)..All those posers in their cheap news reading and news reporting suits eat at kwa Kimsii’s Ki banda( who knew!). They totally rarua chapos and maharagwe for 30 bob??? Michael Njenga kwanza vile ye mshamba ?..yeye ni veteran wa hio dish!
14. Kenyan and job tags ?….especially you bankers???nkt!…it seems even those Kenyan vagabonds who chill outside Hilton, ‘wakicheki’ situazhen have job tags nowadays.
15. …And why do Kenyans (especially kiuks) sing church songs when they’re completely drunk. Okay So ’Mugithi’ is about a train to heaven.!! And then there is this idiots screeching at the top of their voices ‘We muoyo Jeso! We muoyo!! Jeso! And the guys singing are walevi wakupindukia! They can barely walk! WTF!
Ed note/Warning:
Polypropylene is liable to chain degradation from exposure to heat and UV radiation such as that present in sunlight. Dear Kenyan ladies. Soma label ya hio suit ya exhibition.!una weza die! hivyo tu!. And then what do we say at your funeral. ‘Alichomwa na nguo??

CRAZY KENYAN HABITS!

My part of the world.......: Monday Moanings Part XI

My part of the world.......: Monday Moanings Part XI
hahahaha.....girl!I am so fowarding this to your dad's email.you are as good as dead.
Naaa!am just kidding.but i got to say she got a fine pussy.

Funny Insults.

Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...

Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?

I've seen more life in a down and out's vest.

You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...

Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.

You're about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder

All day I thought of you....I was at the zoo.

I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.

You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.

He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe

Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.

If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd say BOO!

You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.

You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she too hates it!

I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.

Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?

Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?

Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...

I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at Cucumber college.

Well, they do say opposites attact...so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.

I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.

You started at the bottom...and it's been downhill ever since!

I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.

Is your name Maple Syrup? - Well, it damn well should be, you sap!

I know what sign you were born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'